I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
