we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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