just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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