My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
