Im at strip club and am horny
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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