Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize