Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my phone needs a breathalizer
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
