Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize