he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
