I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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