Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
