Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
