I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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