"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
