at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
