You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
