The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
