haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
