after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Please don't give away my fajitas
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