I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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