The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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