Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
