I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
