one might say we're banned from that church
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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