somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
