So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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