They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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