Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
