omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
