My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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