I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
