Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize