I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
