The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
