would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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