You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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