is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
