I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
