so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
