Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
