May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My pussy is not your playground.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize