We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She is in my trunk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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