shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
