Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's never too late to be topless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
