oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Randomize
