marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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