Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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