dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
