So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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