who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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