could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
