Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
