I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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