you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize