I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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