i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
