i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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