Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
