Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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