I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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