My first STD was from a foam party
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
