Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
