She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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