Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
be right there i have to get my cape
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
