Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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