His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
