so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
nutella sex= disaster
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
