She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize